Do you have to be a deep thinker to make a difference?

I’ve been trying to read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.” And it’s going way over my head.

I’ve never thought of myself as a cerebral sort of person. I know what I believe. I express those beliefs. I listen to what others believe and compare/evaluate the two.

But I don’t think I could ever dig as deeply into consciousness, being present, and recognizing any awakening in the same way Mr. Tolle does.

I thought listening to a 10-part podcast with Mr. Tolle and Oprah Winfrey discussing the book and answering readers’ questions would help. But I’m finding it difficult to really pay attention. My mind wanders and I find myself relistening to sections of the podcast to try to figure out what the author means. I really have to pay attention, which is difficult for my scatter brain.

I seldom dig deep into the hidden meaning of an event or thought. That’s probably one of the reasons why writing this column has been challenging at times. I can draw comparisons and evaluate based on superficial meanings. Especially if those assessments are obvious.

• Why do I cry whenever anyone yells? Because I cried whenever my dad yelled.
• Why do I count everything–steps, eggs, pencils, road signs, red cars? Because while growing up, I knew I was always 12 steps away from having to deal with a tough situation involving a member of my family. If I just wouldn’t take those 12 steps to the basement, I would be safe.
• Why do I eat an entire package of cookies or bag of chips when life seems to get hard? Because that’s how you feel better. It’s a comfort thing.

Then I ask myself What makes me think I have any advice or guidance for anyone reading this blog? Imposter syndrome is alive and well.

I question if I have any credibility. I’m just a mom. A wife. A writer who wants to have a positive impact on the world around me.

But I’ve had some experiences that have shaped me. And I don’t think those experiences are exclusive to me. Everyone has experienced loss, grief, hardship, uncertainty, confusion, depression, fear. So, I write about how I feel when those events happen to me … and I hope you can relate and feel like you are not alone.

I’ve read a lot of books by women who ARE deep thinkers – Brene Brown, Martha Beck, Elizabeth Gilbert, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. They have the degrees and/or experience that make them experts in the topics they address. Topics like shame, belonging, inequality, passion, authenticity, positive mindset, vulnerability and a whole lot more.

Now, my youngest son, Derek, is a thinker.

He left in mid-September for Marine Bootcamp. I never thought I’d say this, but I miss our daily, in-depth discussions.

Every evening when he got home from work, he’d sit down with me in the office or my basement hideaway (which isn’t as much of a hideaway as it is a nook or cranny) and recount what he’d most recently listened to. (He’s a big audio book listener. He actually remembers what he hears.)

He would talk about what such-and-such economist thought about a topic. Or he’d explain a psychologist’s viewpoint on how herd mentality works. Or he’d marvel at a sociologist’s theory that far left-wing and far right-wing devotees are actually more similar than they think.

And then he’d tell me what he thought of what he’d heard.

Me? I’m lucky if I can remember the title and author of any book I listen to, much less hold inspired conversations with other people detailing my own reactions to the author’s beliefs.

Sometimes, when Derek finishes his observations, he waits for my reaction.

And he waits.

And he gets ansty waiting.

Most of the time, I don’t have a reaction. I know he’s disappointed in me, but the why of someone’s actions doesn’t mean as much to me as the consequences or effects on people around them. And what to do to fix it.

Does that mean I’m not a good person? I don’t think so. Does that mean my viewpoint is not valuable? Not at all.

There is a place in this world for the thinkers. For the people who come up with the big ideas.

And then there’s a place for the people who just do, who go to work, raise their children, mow their lawns, finish the laundry, walk the dogs.

I find most of my good ideas come when I least expect them–in the shower, while I’m driving, as I’m falling asleep. I haven’t yet taken steps to capture all those ideas when they show up. You would think I’d be smart enough to keep a voice recorder in the bathroom or in my car or stash a notebook next to my bed. Maybe someday I’ll learn. Remember, I said I’m not very cerebral.

What about you? Do you consider yourself a thinker or a doer? Your personal value does not depend on being a member of either group. But your personal value does come from showing up and being the best person you can be. I know that’s a cliché and somewhat naïve, but I truly believe it.

Science has proven that we humans thrive while we are in community. Sharing really is caring. That’s what I hope our new Stix-N-Stonez Facebook group will become. We all have responsibilities. But when life gets really hard, it’s difficult to meet other people’s expectations.

I try to post daily positive messages within the group. When we get to be a little more comfortable with each other, I’m hoping each member can give and get support with whatever they are dealing with. But it will take some time for us to develop trust in each other. This Stix-N-Stonez Facebook group will be a safe place to find rest and support. Won’t you join us?

Thanks for being here. Until next week,

Susie from Stix-N-Stonez