My husband and I are flummoxed. Something has been bothering our oldest son, but all he can do is yell and cry. I’ve written in this space before about how our oldest has multiple disabilities. So, sometimes it’s difficult to figure out what’s going on with him.
We’ve tried just about everything we and his doctor can think of to make things better for him. But so far, nothing has worked. He just can’t tell us what’s wrong.
I think that’s what’s wrong with our world today. We, as a society, have chosen to not use our words and to use our fists instead.
Don’t you think we’d be better off if we would just talk to each other? But talking isn’t the only thing we need to do. When we’re not talking, we need to listen. I mean really listen. Not that half-hearing we do while we try to multi-task or figure out a snappy comeback. Actually listen.
Terry and I use certain cues to figure out what Evan is trying to tell us. When he hits his head, maybe he has a headache. When he pulls his legs up and rolls around in his bed, maybe he has a tummy ache. But identifying the symptoms isn’t always foolproof. Sometimes he does something because he’s angry or because he’s teasing us.
We don’t have cues like those that work across cultures and help us figure out what is happening within our society. Many times, our cues are ambiguous. A handshake in some cultures is a good thing. In others, not so much. We Americans like to look each other in the eye to show we are paying close attention. The same action in other cultures signifies a challenge or is just plain rude.
Last week in this space, I called the attack on the United States Capitol Building a “riot” and the perpetrators a “mob.” Maybe you don’t agree with my choice of words. It was pointed out to me that I probably wasn’t being my normal “can’t we all just get along” self. I have to agree.
But, in my defense, I was angry and afraid, which is probably exactly how some of those protestors in Washington felt.
Sometimes there are questions that don’t have any good answers. It’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Six of one, half-a-dozen of another. We all may not know how to answer the tough questions, but this world would be a more peaceful place if we just listened more.
And maybe answers aren’t what we need the most. I’m confident, however, that we DO need to move forward. And try to be civil with each other.
How do we do that?
Honestly? I don’t know. All I can think of is to keep on keepin’ on. Still advocate for mindfulness, kindness and respect. Try to walk the walk. Forgive myself when I mess up and try again.
We still need to look for the good in each other. We still have to listen more than we talk. We still need to respect each other.
And we need to forgive each other when we make mistakes, pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off and try again.
We have a new year to try to re-learn each other’s cues and figure out what our symptoms are telling us about each other.
Wouldn’t really communicating be better than hitting ourselves in the head?
Until next week,
Susie from Stix-n-Stonez.com
P.S.: This week’s post is a couple of days late. I wasn’t feeling well at the beginning of the week and a lot (well, everything) was left undone until today. Thanks for your understanding!
P.P.S.: I think I broke a record for using more cliches than you can shake a stick at. I’ll try to do better.
P.P.P.S.: Both Evan and I are feeling better now.