A prince can be found in the most unusual place. You just have to be open to seeing something different. Photo by Susie Taylor
A trip to the store gets me thinking
I went to Walmart the other day to get milk and cereal and book shelves (Don’t ask. I got four and we need more. I think my youngest son and I have a bad book gene).
While at the store, I found myself mentally cussing-out a woman who was obviously going down the aisle against the flow that was designated by the store staff with arrows on the floor. They did that to try to keep people moving in the same direction so we don’t get too close to each other — it’s all part of the social distancing we’ve all come to know and love because of COVID-19.
I’m thinking all the way down the aisle: “Didn’t she see the arrow? Doesn’t she know we’re supposed to be following these directions to help keep each other safe?” That’s when I reached the end of the aisle, looked down and realized that the lady I had been yelling at (in my head) wasn’t going the wrong way. I was!
Can you say: “Hypocrite”?
I would define a hypocrite as someone who condemns others for thoughts or beliefs that you yourself hold. How many times have I found myself berating someone only to realize I’ve done exactly the same thing.
I actually almost turned around so I could go to the woman and apologize for yelling at her in my head, when I was really the one in the wrong. I only thought about it though.
I think it was economist and social theorist Thomas Sowell who said: “It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” There is a lot I don’t know, but I am confident that if the opportunity arises, I will take it and point out all the wrongs others have done. I’ve done it to my kids, my husband, my siblings, my friends and even, myself.
Let me just stand up in this virtual meeting space and say: “My name is Susie, and I’m a hypocrite.”
I demand that others tolerate my viewpoints, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to listen to someone else’s. Don’t they know I am right and they are wrong?
This is when we break the world into two camps: us and them. Those of “us” are good, and pure and right. All of “them” are evil and polluted and just, plain wrong.
Sometimes, I feel like such a hypocrite when I write about my viewpoints here at Stix-N-Stonez. I know the utopia I envision if we all could ”just get along.” But most often I’m just as much a part of the problem as anyone else.
I want to be right.
In reality, sometimes it’s better to be nice instead of being right.
As I get older (60 is less than a year away for me), I feel like I am leaning more to the left. When I was younger, I knew what I believed. I was willing to argue in support of those beliefs. My viewpoints were more cut and dried, right and wrong, black and white. Within the past few years, it has hit me that maybe I don’t know as much as I thought. I guess I’m finally getting smart enough to know that I don’t know it all.
One quote from Brene Brown’s book “Braving the Wilderness,” has stuck with me for quite a long time. I don’t have room for the entire paragraph, but here’s the abridged version:
“If you are offended or hurt when you hear Hillary Clinton or Maxine Waters called bitch, whore, or the c-word, you should be equally offended and hurt when you hear those same words used to describe Ivanka Trump, Kellyanne Conway, or Theresa May. … When we hear people referred to as animals or aliens, we should immediately wonder, ‘Is this an attempt to reduce someone’s humanity so we can get away with hurting them or denying them basic human rights?’ … There is a line. It’s etched from dignity. And raging, fearful people from the right and left are crossing it at unprecedented rates every single day. We must never tolerate dehumanization—the primary instrument of violence that has been used in every genocide recorded throughout history.”
Brene Brown in Braving the Wilderness
I constantly have to remind myself that there is nothing wrong in disagreeing with someone. The problem comes when you refuse to hold open conversations with others so you can learn from them and they can learn from you. That’s the only way we’re going to combat this great divide we have going on right now.
Whether it’s race, religion, the economy, health care, climate change, or anything else that stops us from ever developing solutions and a dialogue, we all have to develop the attitude that we’d rather be friends than be right. We all can’t be right all the time.
Now, I’m not saying we should bend over backward and cave to any challenge to our beliefs. But I am saying we each should pick our battles. There is so much wrong with our world today, but I believe it is our obligation to look for the good. To explore this land that God made and to cherish it and each other as the magnificent creations that we are.
How can you further peace and understanding within your circle of influence?
I wish you peace! Until next time,
Susie for Stix-N-Stonez.com